Small Steps

I don’t know what it’s like to not be THAT fat girl.

shit.

I think that fact that I’m drinking so much water is making me want to purge even more.
I can feel the water coming back up my throat.
But I’ve already cleaned my bathroom twice today.
I’m just going to cling to the bed for dear life.
Just get through this.
I can do this. 

fuck

and because I’m a constant fatty
I ate again.
It’s fucking 3:30 in the morning and I ate again.
Two mini bagels with grape jelly.
I’m not going to purge it.

This is me trying to be “normal.”
I shall eat my food and let it digest and be okay with it.
Because my body needs food.

I’m hoping it’ll digest better if I drink alot of water so I’ve already drank two bottles.

I’m such a fuck up.